How Advertising Works

ACCOUNT HANDLER: Here's a brief. It's for a massage parlour. They want to advertise cheap handjobs. The wanks are quite big apparently, and cost 10p. We just need a headline.

CREATIVE: How about "Big Wanks. 10p"?

AH: That's great. Run it past the Creative Director, and we'll see what the client thinks.

[SOME TIME LATER]

CREATIVE DIRECTOR: I've had a look at this wanking job, and I don't think we need to say the price. And the "big"isn't really relevant.

CREATIVE: Maybe we'll just say "Wanks" then.

CD: That's great. Plain, direct - to the point.

AH: I agree. Let's see what the client thinks.

[A LONG TIME LATER]

AH: The client really likes the word "Wanks" but wonders if it should say "Handjobs" instead. Can you write "Handjobs" on a piece of paper for them and I'll send it over.

CREATIVE: Yep. Here ya go.

[CREATIVE DIRECTOR WALKS IN]

CD: Why aren't they going with "Wanks"?

AH: They weren't sure. So we're showing them another option.

CD: "Handjobs" isn't right for this. Write the word "Seagulls" on a piece of paper for them too, then they can see how wrong THAT is as well.

[SOME TIME LATER]

AH: Hi. This wanking job - the client really liked "Seagulls" but doesn't want to say "sea" in case someone takes it the wrong way. Do you think we can just say "Gulls"?

CREATIVE: What - "Wanking Gulls"?

AH: I don't know.

[CREATIVE DIRECTOR WALKS IN]

CD: They'd didn't go for "Seagulls" did they? Typical.

AH: Kind of. But they just want to say "Gulls" in case people misunderstand it.

CD: Ok. Well give em "Gulls" but make sure you bill them for the fucking paper we write it on.