Monday, 8 March 2010

Coming Soon

From the producers of Transformers, The Dukes of Hazzard, and the forthcoming A-Team movie comes the small-screen adaptation you've all been waiting for.

They said it couldn't happen.

But this year, it's finally time to say "Good night from me..."

And it's a good night from... HIM!

This summer, Matt Damon and Russell Crowe are...


The Two Ronnies!

[CUT TO: Hardware store]

CROWE: Hey, could I get some -uh- fork handles?

DAMON: Sure thing, sir. No problem. Here ya go. 1...2... 3... 4 candles for you sir.

CROWE: Whoa whoa wait a goddamn minute. Now what the fuck is all this shit?

DAMON: These are the -uh- candles you asked for, sir.

CROWE: Candles? Candles!? I didn't ask for no freakin' candles. What!? Are you freakin' deaf or something? Watch my fucking lips motherfucker - I said fork. Handles, moron. You dig?


DAMON: Oh, jeez. Sorry man - I thought you meant - you -

CROWE: I know what you thought you piece o' shit. Now you gonna go get my handles, or you gonna stand here like a wise ass motherfucker.


andywhite said...

I'm waiting for Harvey Keitel and Steve Buscemi in "The Cannon and Ball Story".

John said...

Yeah, it's in 3D apparently. Those CGI braces look amazing. Rock on Tommy.

Saw some pics of Megan Fox wearing a Maplins yellow coat the other day - now that's gonna be worth waiting for!

andywhite said...

Oh god yeah. Apparently Joe Pesci is playing Ted Bovis. Hi di Hi you motherfucking cocksucker you.