How To Make A Conference Call

1. Call the 1st person

2. Put them on hold by pressing red "HOLD" button

3. Call 2nd person and then be placed on hold

4. Call them (2nd person) back on the separate line and ask them to dial-in

5. You'll need to call the 1st person back now

6. Shout "Hello," over each other several times

7. Shout "Hello" over 2nd person who'll probably dial-in at around this point

8. Go round each person in turn saying "Can you hear me?"

9. Fuck the whole thing off and just email 'em