Wednesday, 10 September 2008

Look Whose Fat And In Court

Failed rockstar and self-loathing drunken cunt, Barry Belm, 42, pleaded guilty to assault at Preston Crown Court yesterday.

Mr. Justice Yes said something like "Whilst I have not entirely ruled out a custodial sentence, it is likely Mr. Belm will spend much of the winter scraping the piss off public toilets with a razorblade and collecting frozen dogshit. Additionally, a stiff fine will doubtless encumber his family's Christmas this year- unless of course they all ask Santa to bring them some bits of litter and cold turds," he quipped.

Sentencing was adjourned until October, during which time Mr. Belm intends to write a very embarrassing song about his day in court, and dry fuck his weak-chinned hunchback (fish)wife a couple of times. In turn, Mrs. Belm intends to bore their parochial auto-peasant friends to death by talking about the injustice of it all, or until such time as the demons are finally beaten out of her cunt with a special stick.

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