The Drum's Alistair "Oh, him" Sim Correspondent: Harry Glans
Devisive industry personality Alistair Sim today unveiled plans to twat himself in a bare-knuckle junkyard brawl like on Superman 3.
In a swanky press-conference at Urbis, the Nice Sim told the Earth: "The brief was simple - to somehow embody the (alleged) evil within me and publicly destroy it, along with any inferred press speculation that I might have been a bit of a cunt."
At the time of going to press, Sim's evil side was unavailabable for comment, swigging neat whiskey from a bottle, and snorting coke off a placement's portfolio. Allegedly.
Nice Sim told The Drum: "The plan is to use a magnet to pick the evil me up by the glasses and hurl him into a car-crusher." Meanwhile, an Evil Sim insider told us he intended to just "drop an engine on his head". Nice Sim went on: "For someone as affable and timid as I am, I'm gonna have to look pretty deep within myself to find the strength and courage to kick the fucking shit out of someone as close as to me as I am." Allegedly.
Happier times. Hasgrove Group board members (L to R), Dim, Sim, Blim, and Tim
Related news:
Sim drinks tea with friend - absolutely nothing to report
Sim eat fishfingers, chips, leaves beans
Sim morphs back into Moon Wraith - returns to home world
Sim quits advertising to pursue pro dominoes
Sim sick to fucking death of publicity
Blogger sick to fucking death of Sim publicity
No comments:
Post a Comment