Sunday, 10 January 2010

A Sexual Fantasy Involving Dave Trott

This one goes out to the onanists out there who made this blog almost 600% more popular after this post last month. So let's see if we can make even more SEO history by combining adver-blog heavyweight Herr Trott with some good old fashioned smut. 1000% here we come.

(Adjudicating the attempt we have Google Analytics and Mr. Norris McWhirter... on saxophone).

DAVE TROTT: I remember when I first started out in the business. I was randy as a divorced bull.

ME: That's interesting, Dave. Maybe you should write about it on your blog.

DAVE TROTT: I'd love to, John. It's a side of the business people never like to talk about. And we need to be much more open with ourselves these days, as well our clients. Because let's face it: sex sells. So let's talk about it.

At length.

With double line-spacing.

ME: Er, ok. But only of you think it'll help my advertising career...

DAVE TROTT: Of course it will. I'm fucking Dave Trott, duh!

ME: Sorry, Dave. Off you go then.

DAVE TROTT: That's more like it!

Ok. There was this art director at Ogilvy's back in the 60's who used to love fucking his clients.

Male or female, it didn't matter.

He just wanted to fuck his clients.

And the thing was, the clients didn't mind, because this art director had a huge dick.

ME: Um... Dave?

DAVE TROTT: The clients wanted him to fuck them.

ME: I'm not comfortable with this, Dave.

DAVE TROTT: They just couldn't get enough of his donkey dick.

ME: Stop saying "dick" please, Dave.

DAVE TROTT: None of us could.

ME: La, la, la, la, la - I'm not listening...

DAVE TROTT: Everybody just adored this guy's cock.

ME: No! Stop it. Now.

DAVE TROTT: You just had to see it to believe it.

ME: I don't want to see it.

DAVE TROTT: So everybody who came to agency used to get shown the art director's penis.

It was like a right of passage.

ME: Please don't say "passage" either.

DAVE TROTT: Now I'm not gay, or anything like that.

But that art director taught me two of the biggest lessons of my career.

ME: Ahh, now this is more like it...

DAVE TROTT: How to shaft your clients.

And how to spot a dick.

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