News from The Drum: Advertising kind of pointless, really

The Drum's reality correspondent: Karl McGargling

In a rare flash of insight yesterday, everybody at The Drum suddenly realised that, actually, in the scheme of things, advertisings not really all that important.

The unexpected change of opinion came in the wake of Father's Day when the majority of the advertising magazine's employees spent a pleasant afternoon in the company of their extended families, talking about old times, chewing the fat, and putting things in perspective.

A spokesman for The Drum sighed, "Seeing dad yesterday really made me sit up and think about the big picture. I mean, i don't know how long he's got left now - it could be 5 years, it could 30. But what's more important: getting to know my parents, or getting an interview with a man who makes posters for cat food? Don't get me wrong, it's an exciting time to be involved in the creative industries, but... Aw, who am I kidding?" And with that he threw his mobile phone in the bin and walked barefoot on to the street. Meanwhile, another insider was heard to be muttering "Bullshit man, bullshit. This is ALL bullshit..."

Regular Drum reader Gareth Ramps reported "There's been a a nagging futility about the magazine for a while now. Something hollow and unresolved about it. It's spooky. Like, at work I'm all over it, commenting on the website like I genuinely care about all this stuff. But once I get home, it doesn't even cross my mind. It's as though nothing in it matters, or has any significance or bearing on the outside world."

Chief editor of The Drum, Nobby Clamps, is expected to issue a statement later today apologising for the time and effort the magazine has wasted over the years, and suggesting ways his readers might better spend their time.