Thursday, 21 February 2008

The best copywriting job in the world..?

Some time last weekish, Dan Germain at Innocent announced he's finally handing over his pen to someone else, and the ad for a new Innocent writer went up on their website. In the past I've been unkind to Dan and Innocent, largely due to the ubiquity of his iconoclastic tone-of-voice. But I couldn't help feeling sad for him. It must be hard giving up something you've created from scratch - giving it to someone else. I imagine it's like your child's first day at school; Dan weeping at the gates as he hands his copy breifs over to the new guy. Either way, you can bet it's gonna be some bloody gruelling recruitment process.

Anyway, it got me thinking. What would be your best copywriting job? Something like Innocent or something else? Hmmm... How about this:
I had a friend who used to sponsor a dog via the Canine Defence League. Every quarter or so she'd get a letter actually from her dog. -No. Honestly -It was written in the first person and everything: "I'm doing well... hoping to find a new home soon..." and all that.
Then I thought -hey!- maybe I'd like to pretend to be a dog all day.

Maybe it'd be something like this...

"To my dear XXXXX,

Words cannot express my gratitude for your recent donation. Your "dogged" persistence and kindness in this matter warms the very extremities of my heart. You are my rock. I only hope one day we shall meet in the outside world, away from this dreadful place.

Oh XXXXX, my sweet, sweet XXXXX, how I long to be by your side; to chase a ball through fields and glens, to feel your tender hand on my shaggy belly. We would be inseperable. Oh how I yearn to be free again. Damn these walls and this wretched cage! Damn the barking - oh the barking; the ceaseless, tortured barking. Night and day it pervades my senses, and drowns my thoughts. I am sinking my love.

The people here are kind. But kindness is no substitute for love. For it is love that will save me; love that will heal me; heal my patchy coat and my intestinal worms. I am a pitiful creature, unworthy of your affections. But for the hope of meeting you one day I would surely perish.

Forever yours,

What dya reckon? More fun than writing about yoghurt?

1 comment:

pisspoorenglish said...

I think you should start a dog blog, writing as your dog alter ego. A bit like the idea I once had for 'Dog-Cam' reality TV. Where you stick a camera on a dogs head, and watch what it does all day. Winner.