Brand Spanking

You don't have to be an art director or a client to understand that tone of voice matters about as much to a brand as a jockey to a spooked racehorse. When you're trying to appeal to as many faceless, brainless plebs as possible, copywriters can't afford to play fast and loose with the emotions of their drooling audiences. As any brand manager will tell you, a successful campaign is a combination of brightly coloured celebrities and money off vouchers. The only time one should speak to the audience is either to mention the price, or to remind them not to choke on the product.

So. Imagine how horrified I was to discover this particularly witty, playful, and (God forbid) intelligent piece of copy on the back of a beer label this weekend.



(In case you can't read the pic:"Yet another bummed-out holiday? Lump of Coal Dark Holiday Stout is liquid consolation. It's a deep, rich, sweetly rewarding stout to take the edge of that grim family gathering, that cheerless annual festival of alienation. This brew is as dark as it gets, as black as the lump of coal you'll be getting for Christmas. Because, let's face it, you've been pretty bad this year.")

It reminded me of Simon Darwell-Taylor's idea for a brand that was shitty, and pissed off you with, rather than bland, obsequious, and mealy-mouthed. Which is, of course, how ALL copy should be in these days of austerity, panic and dickheads.