Thursday 22 July 2010

Ads in an ideal world

BERNARD CRIBBINS VOICEOVER: One day Tufty was playing in the garden when his friend Willie Weasel appeared.

WILLIE: Hello Tufty.

TUFTY: Hello Willie. What are you doing here? I thought you’d been in an accident.

WILLIE: I was. But the people at Claims Direct helped me get back on my paws again.

One call was all it took. And because the accident wasn’t my fault, they said I was entitled to 100% of my compensation.

They told me there and then how much I could expect...

[We see Willie with his arm bandaged up. He is on the phone in split-screen, talking to a badger with a barrister's wig on who nods agreeably. Surprised by what he hears on the other end, Willie falls backwards off his chair.]

And started helping me right away. Even with the special care I needed.

[We see Willie in a doctor’s surgery being attended to by a sexy squirrel nurse. Willie wears a neck brace. The nurse removes it, and replaces it with a special elongated neck brace for weasels. As the nurse leaves, Willie tries to look at her arse but hurts his neck trying to turn his head.]

They took care of everything. All I had to do was get on with getting better.

[We see Willie at home, propped up in his bed. Willie’s wife brings him a delicious looking acorn and an Auto Trader. She kisses him on the head]

And best of all, it didn’t cost me a penny.

[Willie takes some money out of his pocket]

Fancy a pint, Tufty?

[We see a pub across the road - The Otter's Pocket]

TUFTY: I thought you'd never ask.

WILLIE: Last one there's a [MASKED OVER SOUND OF CAR HORN]

[Willie dashes across the road and is hit by an ice-cream van. Tufty covers his face with his hands and shakes his head. A wide-shot reveals the back of the ice-cream van has the Claims Direct logo and phone number on it.]

BERNARD CRIBBINS VO: If you’ve had an accident that wasn’t your fault, Call Claims Direct on XXXXXXXXXXX.

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