1. Sucking off lepers for cough sweets
2. Scraping piss off bog seats with a razorblade
3. Farming sheep in Siberia
4. Being a really fat postman
5. Crocodile tester
6. Freelance flag ironer to the Queen
7. Nick Griffin's practice gollywog
8. Giving out The Metro on Sundays
9. Semi-pro blindfold jackal rapist (an illicit North African bloodsport)
10. Cleaning the cups at McCann's
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