Pointless Pie

Here's great recipe that's absolutely perfect for wasting your time. With a light, insubstantial stock and a hollow filling, after a long day it's a truly disheartening dish. Irresistible!

Here's what you'll need:

(serves 1)
200g flour
100g butter
3oz sponge
6 whole free range atoms
1/2 a mind
Masala

Take the butter and leave it overnight. Do not approach it. Next, separate the flour using a stopwatch. Take your time and get the consistency right. You want it to be senseless. In a saucepan, introduce the butter to the flour, whilst being as formal as possible. In your left hand, knead the sponge and leave it to either side of you. Beat the atoms using a flat object or a kitchen spade. Heat the oven to 220c fo 35 minutes then lower the temperature. Open a window, and in a 5-sided cake tin, aimlessly spread the pastry up the sides. Slow-bake the whole thing for 3 hours, and serve with a shrug.

Voila! A disspiriting, and dissatisfying supper for everyone involved.