Thursday 6 March 2008

Gordon Brown's Spunk-Web


Somewhere in London, in a dim-lit room, upon a good solid matress, lies the Prime Minister, Gordon Brown.


Wearing a dark suit, and an ugly expression, some tough things have been on his mind. He's been wrestling with them now for almost three minutes.


What will the answer be? What - if anything- is the question? Only he can know. After all, he's the Prime Minister.


Finally, in soundless agony, he ejaculates on to the back of his hand, a warm lump of grey spunk, which he nonchalantly scissors back and forth between his thumb and forefinger.


With a guttural sigh, he peers at it; he stares deep into the glistening spunk-web and thinks: I'll raise the minimum wage to £5.73.