Wednesday, 30 March 2011

News from The Drum: Shit agency's self-aggrandising wankpiece backfires

By The Drum's usual correspondent, Possibility Throat

In a predictable yet oddly unsatisfying twist of events yestermorn, attempts by absolutely bloody awful regional agency, Corporaserve Catalogues, to make a public stand about something nobody gave a shit about were met with widespread derision by Drum readers.

The article, which bleated on about some shit like the amount of time that shit agencies waste chasing quotes from shit printers to serve shit, low budget clients, made some really obvious points about how Corporaserve might solve the trifling hardships of their shit agency.

Meanwhile, this was all done in lengthy, rather pretentious fashion in an attempt to appear dynamic and forward thinking on the off-chance that a potential client would be reading their shit article about a shit agency in a shit regional trade mag. But they weren't. The only people who did read it were the financial directors of other shit, regional agencies who had their own fucking problems anyway, and about a thousand frustrated creatives who have to work for shit agencies like Corporaserve and are sick to death of these cunts speaking on their behalf, like some embarrassing parent doing a comedy fart in front of their girlfriend.

Needless to say, a predictable backlash ensued within the comments section of The Drum. As anonymous creatives spewed hilarious and deserved insults toward Corporaserve's lazy publicity attempt, pious do-gooders came forward under their own names to say the same old mealy-mouthed bullshit about the state of the industry and saying how cowardly the creatives were for not putting their names to anything even though that would so obviously be a fucking stupid thing to do, since it's only the ever the bosses who name themselves on The Drum is n't it. Indeed, some of the bosses even went as far as publicly disagreeing with Corporaserve, but "totally respected their opinion" which was just a veiled way of admitting that they'd also said some pretty stupid shit in The Drum in the past, and were reserving the right to do so again.

Unfortunately, The Drum has received no reports of any sackings or suicides resulting from the backlash so far.

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