It's Been a While

Finally, finally finally, after being SO busy these last few weeks, months, years, I've just popped down to the canine rescue centre to visit my favourite golden retriever and advertising enthusiast, Goldie.

Here's what she had to say for herself.

How to get a job in Advertising: Part 3

Where were we?

Ah, yes. Lesson 3: There is Truth in Advertising.

So you should maybe think about doing something like this. That is, if you aren't already doing it. Unwittingly, I mean. Which you probably are. And if you're not, you soon will be. Ripping it off for your grad show I mean.

That's how good it is.

Enjoy.



You can read Part 2 here., and here's Part 1 look.

Advertising Feature

Hullo. I'm the Burger King's wife.

If you stare into my eyes for 5 minutes, I'll give you a free Whopper.

Stare at my buns for 5 minutes and I'll give you extra sauce.

Stare at my meaty flaps for 10minutes and I'll give you a dip in my boneless bucket.

Push my button handsome!

Happy Hour

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10 Things You Can't Do Without the Internet

1. Trigger political unrest at the flick of a Facebook.

2. Poke your own father

3. Email a man in Portsmouth

4. Stream footage of illegal fox hunt

5. Work at the BBC

6. Digitise a horse

7. Chat with online genitals

8. Enjoy your latest crazes

9. Go viral!

10. Write a blog post any longer than this

Advertising Feature

Whoa, whoa, whoa what the fuck is all this shit?

Putting old Maxie up on the internet?

I'm fucking Max Bygraves, I am.

Do I look like I'm for fucking sale?

Put *me* on the internet and I'll put you in a fucking hole, sunshine.

I'll fuck you a new hole, in fact.

Where I can fuck right into your soul.

Fuck it right up.

Cos I'm Max fucking Bygraves, yeah.

Good night!

The Official BrandMaster Flash "Legends of Advertising" Play Mask No.2

NAME: Robert "Junior" Senior

SPECIAL POWER: Intense stare, A-Level General Studies

FAVOURITE FOOD: Little bananas

FAVOURITE COLOUR: Mercy

FAVOURITE THING: "There's nothing like the smell of Ralgex in the morning."

BRAND MASTER RATING: Somewhere between Colgate and Pedigree Chum