Thursday, 16 June 2011

Happy Hour

So I'm really, really busy.

What do you think about that then?

Nothing, John. Nothing at all. We're not here to listen to you bragging.

But I'm not bragging.

You know what we mean. You smug fucking tittins.

What's a tittins? And who's we?

You know. We, we, we. Us lot. The three fucking people who bother to read all this shit.

Oh. The ones who never ever comment. Ever.

That's us.

How come?

How come what?

How come you never comment?

[.....]

I'm shy too you know...

Bollocks.

Seriously...

Well, we're not shy at all actually. We're just...er...busy...

Like me?

No. I mean, we - All of us, we're...um... Oh, let's talk about something else.

All right. Like what?

Like your usual...bloody.... things. Taking the piss out of the ads...

And the agencies!

Oh, hello. Who are you?

I was just behind him. Reading what was going on.

Who? Me?

Yeah. Sorry I didn't mean to startle you.

That's all right. I just wasn't expecting anybody else to be here. Least of all you.

Eh? But I'm always here. When I'm not busy.

Not you, tittins. Him! Him behind us. In the bold font.

Hello.

Yeah, hi. So, um... Listen, I was just saying how busy I've been.

So I believe.

Which is why I haven't been blogging as regularly. But I've been working with some really fine folks...

How many times!? We're not FUCKING INTERESTED!!

There's all sorts of exciting things in the pipeline...

Whoa, whoa whoa there, hang on a minute mate. Erm... I'm not all that interested in hearing this either actually. Not at all in fact.

You see? Now get back to your swearing. Go on.

But -

But no! Tittins. You be irreverent, lad. It's what we expect. We can get all this mealy-mouthed "Oooh, it's an interesting time for me and the industry" stuff on Ben Kay.

Faggots.

Precisely. And the last thing you want is people thinking you might actually be good at this stuff. Let alone fucking care about it.

Oh... Right. Ok. So I'll just draw Bertrum Thumbcat then... giving himself a handjob or something?

Perfect!

2 comments:

andywhite said...

So where's the picture of Bertrum Thumbcat then? Tosser.

John said...

I haven't had time have I. Wanker.